My aunt sent me a couple of home remedies for certain circumstances that I might just try.
- AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
- FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
- A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
- IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
- YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE.
IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
- IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
I have to admit, I left out one of the remedies. I was afraid some might really try it, and I don't want the blame or responsibility for planting such an idea in someone's head.
Anita, Ed read these yesterday at church but left out the cut yourself and bleed to reduce blood pressure for the same reason you left one out. I can't remember which one you omitted!
ReplyDeleteDo sinks and/or toilets ring a bell?
ReplyDeleteo yeah! he didn't read that one either!
ReplyDelete