I know it's awfully late, but I didn't want today to pass without a little note of some kind. The posts have been pretty slim pickings the last few days because, to be frankly honest, I've had such a severe headache from the flu, I couldn't gather my thoughts well enough to write something sensible. Thankfully, that's much better.
As for the Ohio side of things, there's really not much new. Maybe the fact that there is a follow up appointment in the morning with a therapist is a bit of encouragement. Papa's time at home has been pretty peaceful thus far. Mom plans to take Papa to his appointment in the morning, then head home.........Alas!! I know she's a happy camper 'bout that.
That's about all I know for now. I'll post more hopefully tomorrow night. I'm still checking my email frequently (very frequently, actually) to see who's sent me a bit of inspiration to post.
Later gators!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Not Much New
So far, so good. Each time I've talked to Mom she's been within "spittin' distance" (that's Southern slang for 'real close', just in case you wondered) so there's been no big details of the transition - which is about to drive me bonkers, as I'm addicted to detail!! LOL!! But each time I speak with her, the answer is that things are going good. She says he is treating Mama well and he's taking his medications as ordered. I have to ask questions in "yes" or "no" format for the discretion. So, as you can tell, those were a couple of the questions I've asked. No events worth writing home about, I guess, which no one is complaining about. No news is good news in this case.
I guess he didn't attempt any whip cracking today as he had planned! From what I hear, he learned fairly quickly that Mom's a little firecracker, not to be reckoned with.........WHO KNEW!! LOL!! Now there's "Firecracker Barb" and "Joan of Arc Linda." Uncle Jerry, aren't you so proud of such wonderful sisters??
I guess he didn't attempt any whip cracking today as he had planned! From what I hear, he learned fairly quickly that Mom's a little firecracker, not to be reckoned with.........WHO KNEW!! LOL!! Now there's "Firecracker Barb" and "Joan of Arc Linda." Uncle Jerry, aren't you so proud of such wonderful sisters??
LOL!! LOL!!!
To say that I have laughed my head off at the irony of this comic strip, is just insufficient. I found it looking through the daily news and I simply could not resist putting it on the blog. I hope that at least someone finds it half as funny as I did. I think I know at least 2 people who will find it ridiculously hilarious! Namely.......Mark......Aunt Linda...being that they have a great appreciation for good humor! LOL!!
Just a note - for those of you who may not see the humor in this strip, it may help to know that Papa (Ray) raises bees. It's a hobby for him....an expensive hobby, I might add!
Friday, August 21, 2009
Papa is Home
I spoke with Mom and Papa a few minutes ago. They arrived home earlier today. Mom says that so far it's been a pretty peaceful process. They were eating supper when I talked to Mom. He was in a joking mood the whole time she talked to me. He told Mom to tell me hello and she asked if he wanted to talk to me. He did. He was jolly and told me that he's being easy on Mama and Mom for tonight and he's gonna start cracking the whip on them in the morning. I told him he better be careful, they might crack it back. LOL! He laughed.
He was insistent on stopping on the way home to have his prescriptions filled from the hospital because he had to have them to take tonight. That was a bit of encouragement, I think.
From this point, I guess we just have to wait and see what happens. It is my understanding that there are a couple of follow-up appointments that he has agreed to go to. Maybe it will all work out! I must trust that it will.
He was insistent on stopping on the way home to have his prescriptions filled from the hospital because he had to have them to take tonight. That was a bit of encouragement, I think.
From this point, I guess we just have to wait and see what happens. It is my understanding that there are a couple of follow-up appointments that he has agreed to go to. Maybe it will all work out! I must trust that it will.
Update
Plans are still underway for Papa to be discharged from the hospital today.
Aunt Linda had to return to Lexington today for work related issues. It's been extremely hard to try to juggle the responsibilities of Papa and her work for the last two weeks.
Mom and Mama will be picking him up from the hospital today and then the adventure begins......
He has agreed to continue the therapy that was started in the hospital, but that was to the social worker, so we all know how quickly that can change.
Please, please pray that God moves His hand to make a difference in the situation.
Aunt Linda had to return to Lexington today for work related issues. It's been extremely hard to try to juggle the responsibilities of Papa and her work for the last two weeks.
Mom and Mama will be picking him up from the hospital today and then the adventure begins......
He has agreed to continue the therapy that was started in the hospital, but that was to the social worker, so we all know how quickly that can change.
Please, please pray that God moves His hand to make a difference in the situation.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Breaking News!!
I spoke with Mom, Mama, and Aunt Linda a bit ago. There seems to be a bit of breaking news in the current situation. They learned an hour and a half before I spoke with them that the hospital plans to discharge Papa in the morning.
There are some major mixed reactions to this news. On one hand, I feel sure that they feel some sense of relief that they are not going to have to make the journey to Toledo back and forth daily! On the other hand, there is some anxiety and fear mixed in with not knowing what to expect out of him once he's home. I think it's a huge understatement to say that things have changed at home in his absence. The measures that were required to be taken to make sure the house was safe of weapons and unused medications was like combing a haystack looking for a flea. (I think a needle would be a little easier to find than a flea, personally.) That's how they felt about their task at hand while he was hospitalized, and the last I checked, I'm not sure they really think they got it all covered.
I haven't spoken to her myself about the matter, but I have a "gut feeling" that Mama is more than a little uncertain as to what to expect from him upon his return. She knows that it will be just a few days that the girls will get to pack their things and head home and she gets to stay and wait to see what happens. Maybe by then he will be so happy on his medications that it won't matter what they did while he was away. Right now, that's the best they could hope for, I do believe.
This is a matter that definitely has our undivided attention and we must pray that God turns this situation around for the better.
There are some major mixed reactions to this news. On one hand, I feel sure that they feel some sense of relief that they are not going to have to make the journey to Toledo back and forth daily! On the other hand, there is some anxiety and fear mixed in with not knowing what to expect out of him once he's home. I think it's a huge understatement to say that things have changed at home in his absence. The measures that were required to be taken to make sure the house was safe of weapons and unused medications was like combing a haystack looking for a flea. (I think a needle would be a little easier to find than a flea, personally.) That's how they felt about their task at hand while he was hospitalized, and the last I checked, I'm not sure they really think they got it all covered.
I haven't spoken to her myself about the matter, but I have a "gut feeling" that Mama is more than a little uncertain as to what to expect from him upon his return. She knows that it will be just a few days that the girls will get to pack their things and head home and she gets to stay and wait to see what happens. Maybe by then he will be so happy on his medications that it won't matter what they did while he was away. Right now, that's the best they could hope for, I do believe.
This is a matter that definitely has our undivided attention and we must pray that God turns this situation around for the better.
A Word From Mark
Hey Family and Friends -
WOW! What a couple of weeks we’ve had. It’s been a roller coaster experience – emotional expression on every level. I wanted to share something I’ve read many times and found it comforting today. Though the entire chapter of Psalm 103 is a graphic picture of the Redemptive power of God for our lives, verse 13-17 stuck out to me today....
“The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. 14 – For He understands how weak we are; he knows we are only dust. 15 – Our days on earth are like grass; like wildflowers, we bloom and die. 16 – The wind blows, and we are gone-as though we had never been here. 17 - But the love of the Lord remains forever with those who fear Him.
I found myself taking this passage to heart with Papa’s news of his illness. Not just realizing the frailty of his situation but for myself Honestly – I was having a hard time staying here in Oklahoma while his children are punished for trying to help. However, this reading seemed to bring a peace – “God understands, He knows how weak we are”. That’s hard to remember when you’re walking thru a mine field of emotions. His love continues even when we forget ourselves and fall prey to the winds of life blowing us around. What amazing grace He shows...
I’m glad that Papa is getting help with this disease. It will be a journey for sure – but let’s all encourage one another in the fact that God knows!
See ya -
WOW! What a couple of weeks we’ve had. It’s been a roller coaster experience – emotional expression on every level. I wanted to share something I’ve read many times and found it comforting today. Though the entire chapter of Psalm 103 is a graphic picture of the Redemptive power of God for our lives, verse 13-17 stuck out to me today....
“The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. 14 – For He understands how weak we are; he knows we are only dust. 15 – Our days on earth are like grass; like wildflowers, we bloom and die. 16 – The wind blows, and we are gone-as though we had never been here. 17 - But the love of the Lord remains forever with those who fear Him.
I found myself taking this passage to heart with Papa’s news of his illness. Not just realizing the frailty of his situation but for myself Honestly – I was having a hard time staying here in Oklahoma while his children are punished for trying to help. However, this reading seemed to bring a peace – “God understands, He knows how weak we are”. That’s hard to remember when you’re walking thru a mine field of emotions. His love continues even when we forget ourselves and fall prey to the winds of life blowing us around. What amazing grace He shows...
I’m glad that Papa is getting help with this disease. It will be a journey for sure – but let’s all encourage one another in the fact that God knows!
See ya -
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Wednesday Update
We met w/the social worker (sw) at 1:30, then all of us met w/Dad at 2. She discussed medication, seeing psychiatrist for follow-up, guns being secured with detective having key to gun safe.
He appeared to be feeling the effects of the increased dosage of new medications, some dizziness, etc. With direct questioning from sw, he replied that he would not hurt anyone, including Mother and Jerry and agreed to all of the above.
The doctor had asked sw call to give him report of meeting. I walked out w/her to sign in Dad’s laundry so she had me talk w/the doctor after she spoke with him. Our primary question was “what is your perception of Dad?” as Dad has led us to believe that the doctor thinks we’re awful for “turning him in” and he would have done what Dad has done, etc. As the week progressed, Dad said the doctor counseled him to go legal route, but that he understood Dad’s anger. (so did we, but it was unwarranted!)
Dr. Chahal said Dad is bipolar, classic manic depressive.
1) Extreme highs or lows, little middle of the road moods (asked if this was Dad’s case, and I said “yes, as I don’t hear from Dad unless he’s elated or mad)
2) Spending money issues (asked if this were the case and I said “we have farm equipment and trucks to prove it”)
3) Master Manipulator (he asked for confirmation and I said “yes”, and he said “give me a for instance” I said, “Mother.” He said, “enough said.”)
Dad should have NEVER taken anti-depressants as when he is in manic mode, it “drives him “up” and the chemical imbalance begins. Then in the depressive state he has to have more anti-depressant. Dr. thinks he has calmed since some meds were eliminated and new regimen began. They dropped the Haldol when he calmed. They are monitoring his blood levels every day, per his nurse.
Dr. said this is hereditary and we are all inclined, and Dad is not to be blamed for this behavior. Can live a normal life if he takes his meds. He may never take his medication to level out, and that is his choice. They will do EVERYTHING to educate him before he leaves the hospital.
Read more about the disorder www.webmd.com and www.bipolarcentral.com
Mother, Barb and I are like limp dishrags, no kidding, but we are relieved there’s a diagnosis and hope. Thank you for praying. We felt strength and were able to speak up when needed. Mother says little but steps up, folks! Please pray for Dad with renewed fervor.
Linda
Just For Mama
I know that Mama is going to be seeing the blog today, so I have tried to come up with a few things for her on here that she might like....Aileen's note, her famous recipe, etc.... After I had all this stuff posted, I realized I had received something from a friend that she would REALLY like. To Mom and Aunt Linda, just make sure she gets to see it.
Cash for Clunkers.......I Qualify
If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish, and my paint job is getting a little dull.
But that's not the worst of it.
My headlights are out of focus, and it's especially hard to see things up close.
My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.
My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.
But here's the worst of it -- Almost every time I sneeze, cough or laugh, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires.
CASH FOR CLUNKERS..........I QUALIFY - How about You?
The Famous Punch
Remember I said I was open for recipes for comfort foods?? We'll start with Mama's Famous Red Punch. A trip to her house wouldn't be normal is she didn't have this - along with some crushed ice. Ever wanted to make it and wonder what all she puts in it? Here's the recipe:
Mama's Famous Red Punch
- 2 packets of cherry kool-aid powder
- 2 cups sugar
- 1 large can of pineapple juice
Mix all these ingredients into a gallon jug mix well. Fill the container the rest of the way to the top with water. And.....there you have it.
Just a note....Make sure you stir or shake the jug before you pour you a cup to mix the pineapple juice up. It tends to settle on the bottom.
Mama's Famous Red Punch
- 2 packets of cherry kool-aid powder
- 2 cups sugar
- 1 large can of pineapple juice
Mix all these ingredients into a gallon jug mix well. Fill the container the rest of the way to the top with water. And.....there you have it.
Just a note....Make sure you stir or shake the jug before you pour you a cup to mix the pineapple juice up. It tends to settle on the bottom.
Aileen
I received a note in my email a little bit ago. Here it is:
"FROM AILEEN- I'M PRAYING FOR THE FAMILY."
Thanks a bunch, Aileen. We appreciate your thoughtfulness and your friendship to Mama. You are definitely a part of the family. Thank you for sending the note.
"FROM AILEEN- I'M PRAYING FOR THE FAMILY."
Thanks a bunch, Aileen. We appreciate your thoughtfulness and your friendship to Mama. You are definitely a part of the family. Thank you for sending the note.
Here They Go AGAIN!!
The 3 stooges are preparing, as I write, to pull back out onto the beaten path to Toledo. PRAY, PRAY, PRAY for them. Today will be the day that some important decisions might be made. They need our support more than ever. The longer this "saga" continues, the more emotionally and physically exhausted they become. I personally wish there was some way I could remove this from them, but being that I can't, I'll lend my support in any way possible - which isn't much. Maybe they will be able to catch a little bit of fresh air soon. They deserve a vacation after this. I'm sure they prefer the every day grind of life as opposed to this.
Abby Beth
There is a new addition in the Daugherty family that hasn't gotten much attention. She's missing from all the photos. She's Laura's little girl, Abby Beth Long. She just turned 1 in May, so she hasn't had a very sociable life yet. I'm putting a couple of pictures of her on here so everyone can see how much she looks like Laura.
Thanksgiving 2005
This is a couple family photos from Thanksgiving 2005 when we had the reunion in Savannah. That was the day that Uncle Jerry caught the Greyhound in Louisville and came for a few hours then had to go back. It was such an enjoyable day. The very fact that he sacrificed in such a way to be with the family was something we will always remember. That was also the first time that my husband, Jeremy, had ever met Uncle Jerry. I think he would consider it an VERY interesting but fond memory. He'd never had man kiss him on the cheek like that! LOL!!
Memories
I have gone back in the archives of photo memories that I possess from my digital camera (which isn't dated too far back) but I came up with some photos that may bring a smile to someone's face. I may not be able to post many pictures. If not, I'll attach a link to a photo bucket album for more viewings. I'm open for more pics if someone would like to send some.
Wednesday's Request
We need prayer for 1:30 family meeting with Dad today.
"For with God NOTHING shall be impossible."
Love, Linda
Love, Linda
Websites
Here are a couple websites that the family should be interested in.
The first is toTrinity Life Center - this is Uncle Eddie and Aunt Linda's church in Lexington. There are recent photos of them there.
The second is: The Assembly at Broken Arrow - if you look hard enough on the "Meet the Pastor" page under Ministry Staff, you'll find a recent picture of Mark - who is the Worship Pastor there.
Just thought I'd share......
The first is to
The second is:
Just thought I'd share......
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
A Small Update
There is but a bit of news from the "farm" today. Linda, the social worker has called, and Mama, Mom, and Aunt Linda will be meeting with her tomorrow (Wednesday) at 1:30 p.m. They will present their questions to her in a written form for her to present to the physician. They will all then (including Linda, the social worker) meet with Papa. Maybe tomorrow, we will have a much better idea of the path this road is going to take us down.
A Word From Linda
In an automated verse of the day email Aunt Linda received today, was this scripture. She wanted me to share it with you all. The nugget of wisdom she tucked into the email that she asked me to put this on the blog, was the request for this quote from her:
"We CAN do what God requires!"
"No, O people, the Lord has told you what is good and this is what He requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God."
Micah 6:8 NLT
"We CAN do what God requires!"
Verse of the Day for 8/18/09:
"No, O people, the Lord has told you what is good and this is what He requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God."
Micah 6:8 NLT
About Dad.....and our Family
This morning in my email, I had a note that everyone probably received from Aunt Linda at some time yesterday or this morning. I am going to post the 2 updates in her words so you can get a glimpse into her feelings in the matter.
Update #1:
Update #1:
We see Dad at 7:30 tonight; Uncle Roy is coming down too. The Social Worker has not called back, but we wait, not so patiently.
Spoke to social worker Linda, attorney Mary, Detective Nick today. Pray for them as well.
Monday, August 17, 2009
A Note From "the Girls"
Hello everybody! This has been one week that the 3 stooges don't want to repeat. :)
Anita, the blog idea is wonderful. I'm glad Dad educated you so well on the computer. Yeah, right. Love you, Larry!
Tonight's update is fine except for the fact that we've not been officially told when our meeting with MD or social worker is. Dad said, "Wednesday, Thursday or Friday."
This has definitely been a week of stress. Our bodies and our minds are totally exhausted. Mother has been a trooper - bless her heart. I can see why her memory has been faltering. Linda and I feel like ours has gone on a cruise and ran into the direct path of Claudette!
Seriously, thanks to each of you for your prayers and support. We couldn't have survived this without it. God's strength has been our ultimate survival!! Please continue to present our need to the only one who's able to make a difference in this matter. Just knowing that nothing takes God by surprise helps us keep going.
Love to each of you. Yes, we WILL get through this. Together.
Mama/Marlene, Mom/Linda, Mom/Barb
Anita, the blog idea is wonderful. I'm glad Dad educated you so well on the computer. Yeah, right. Love you, Larry!
Tonight's update is fine except for the fact that we've not been officially told when our meeting with MD or social worker is. Dad said, "Wednesday, Thursday or Friday."
This has definitely been a week of stress. Our bodies and our minds are totally exhausted. Mother has been a trooper - bless her heart. I can see why her memory has been faltering. Linda and I feel like ours has gone on a cruise and ran into the direct path of Claudette!
Seriously, thanks to each of you for your prayers and support. We couldn't have survived this without it. God's strength has been our ultimate survival!! Please continue to present our need to the only one who's able to make a difference in this matter. Just knowing that nothing takes God by surprise helps us keep going.
Love to each of you. Yes, we WILL get through this. Together.
Mama/Marlene, Mom/Linda, Mom/Barb
A Word of Encouragement
"It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away.""
Monday's Update
Spoke with Mom tonight at around 9:15 p.m. They just visited Papa and were able to talk with the nurses as well as learn a bit of info about some medication changes taking place. Uncle Roy, Ginger, and MacKenzie came down to visit again tonight. I'm very thankful for their support. (BTW, Ginger, let me know if I'm spelling her name wrong. I'll correct it, if so.)
Medically, as of today, there are some blood levels for a certain seizure medication that he is taking that are lower than they should be. They have increased the amount of medicine to help increase that level. They have also stopped one of the medications that he has been taking since he was admitted to the hospital. In place of that medication, they are replacing it with another medication that will hopefully help with some of the personality changes. With all the changes in medications, according to Papa, he will probably be there another week.
Mom says that they are probably going to meet with the doctor on Wednesday. As far as personality changes, not sure there's much improvement there. Hopefully the new medication will help with that some.
Not much else to report medically. Aunt Linda, Mom, and Mama will be reading this post in the next little bit and will be able to comment if needed for anything that I missed.
To the adults, I'm trying to be extremely careful to pick my words in describing the situation. I am aware that there may be younger readers who may not understand exactly the whole situation but want access so they may lend support to the ones they care about. I'm perfectly fine with that. I want that to happen.
I will await word from Mom or Aunt Linda for additions to this particular post and will edit or post another blog to accommodate the changes.
Love to each of you. We will get through this. That's why families are so important. No one need walk this road alone.
Medically, as of today, there are some blood levels for a certain seizure medication that he is taking that are lower than they should be. They have increased the amount of medicine to help increase that level. They have also stopped one of the medications that he has been taking since he was admitted to the hospital. In place of that medication, they are replacing it with another medication that will hopefully help with some of the personality changes. With all the changes in medications, according to Papa, he will probably be there another week.
Mom says that they are probably going to meet with the doctor on Wednesday. As far as personality changes, not sure there's much improvement there. Hopefully the new medication will help with that some.
Not much else to report medically. Aunt Linda, Mom, and Mama will be reading this post in the next little bit and will be able to comment if needed for anything that I missed.
To the adults, I'm trying to be extremely careful to pick my words in describing the situation. I am aware that there may be younger readers who may not understand exactly the whole situation but want access so they may lend support to the ones they care about. I'm perfectly fine with that. I want that to happen.
I will await word from Mom or Aunt Linda for additions to this particular post and will edit or post another blog to accommodate the changes.
Love to each of you. We will get through this. That's why families are so important. No one need walk this road alone.
Contact Info
I mentioned in "Just for Starters" that if you wanted to correspond by sending pictures and letters to be posted, I would love for that to happen. Even if you want to post a full blog, that's fine too. I forgot to mention my email address, though. I don't have everyone's email address, so you may get this blog through another source than myself. If that's the case, unless you're name is in your email address, make sure you tell me who you are.
My email address is: boomerrn@yahoo.com
Thanks a bundle!
My email address is: boomerrn@yahoo.com
Thanks a bundle!
"It Ain't Over"
On July 1st, Laura had a hysterectomy and I got the opportunity to stay with her at the hospital that night. As most of you know, you get woke up all ungodly hours of the night in the hospital. So it was around 5 a.m. after we had a nurse visit and I just COULD NOT go back to sleep. Laura and her little sedated self dropped right on back off to sleep and there I sat wide eyed in the middle of the dark. At that time, I had a few moments of meditation and lay there silently praying for some issues that were important to me and heavy on my mind. After those moments were over, I decided I would try to go back to sleep, to no avail. I began flipping through the channels and ran across a station playing music videos. I got in on the last part of this video and had it turned so low I could barely hear it. All I heard, really, was the last few sentences of the song and I was captivated by it. I scrambled up to grab a piece of paper to write down the name of the song and the singer so I could find it online as soon as we got back home. It just got stuck in my head. I couldn't wait to get home.
Within minutes of arriving home, I went back to the computer room at Mom's house and hurriedly typed in the info into youtube that I had written down and I sat down to see what parts of the song I missed.
After I watched it, I called Don, my brother-in-law, and Mom in to watch it with me. We were all just kinda taken with it. It actually hit the spot in a moment where we needed it. All of us.
I returned home from that trip and a little over a week after I left is when the events that led up to what is going on now were getting good and started. I called Mom late one night and she sounded sick / congested. I asked her what was wrong and she told me she had been sitting at her computer listening to this song. Multiple times. She was attempting to draw some strength and inspiration from it. Her "sound of being sick" was coming from the fact that she was crying.
That is the reason I am posting this video. It's for her, but I'm hoping the rest of you find some strength in it. Thankfully the final chapter has not been written. I firmly believe "It's Not Over." It's the not being able to look above the trees to see what lies beyond that is so frightening and unnerving. That's where faith comes in to the picture. Thankfully my faith is placed in a hand that's much bigger and much more capable than my own. I can't imagine the hopelessness that might overtake me if that were not the case.
Enjoy......
Within minutes of arriving home, I went back to the computer room at Mom's house and hurriedly typed in the info into youtube that I had written down and I sat down to see what parts of the song I missed.
After I watched it, I called Don, my brother-in-law, and Mom in to watch it with me. We were all just kinda taken with it. It actually hit the spot in a moment where we needed it. All of us.
I returned home from that trip and a little over a week after I left is when the events that led up to what is going on now were getting good and started. I called Mom late one night and she sounded sick / congested. I asked her what was wrong and she told me she had been sitting at her computer listening to this song. Multiple times. She was attempting to draw some strength and inspiration from it. Her "sound of being sick" was coming from the fact that she was crying.
That is the reason I am posting this video. It's for her, but I'm hoping the rest of you find some strength in it. Thankfully the final chapter has not been written. I firmly believe "It's Not Over." It's the not being able to look above the trees to see what lies beyond that is so frightening and unnerving. That's where faith comes in to the picture. Thankfully my faith is placed in a hand that's much bigger and much more capable than my own. I can't imagine the hopelessness that might overtake me if that were not the case.
Enjoy......
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