I'm Learning the Hard Way

On Saturday of this past weekend, I accompanied Addison to my niece's birthday party. It took place at an interesting place called the "Leaping Lizard." It was basically a huge gymnasium full of the big blow up moonwalks and slides. Indoors and air conditioning! In August, in Savannah, that's really all that matters about any place you go!

While we were at the "Leaping Lizard," I learned a few things. For the first little while there, Addison was extremely clingy and nervous about all the monstrous playgrounds that she had to choose from. You know for a 2 year old, a 20 foot blow up slide is quite an overwhelming thing. A piece of them wants to do it so bad they can taste it. Another piece of them about has a heart attack the second they step on the air filled giant and it gives underneath their feet. It's a bit unsettling. Then the bigger feat is climbing the 20 foot air filled ladder to get to the 20 foot air filled slide. Fortunately for her, adults can climb on those, too. Unfortunately for me, the first few trips, I had to CARRY her up that ladder! I wore out way quicker than she did. Five minutes into play time I was sweating my head off, my hair was a mess, and my body was near fainting!

She finally got the hang of it and decided to venture out into the "world of giant blow-ups," thankfully. She was a little hesitant at first, but within just a few minutes, she was ready to go conquer the world - well maybe that's a little far-fetched, but it was much better than having to carry her up those exhausting things!

After a while, she decided she wanted to go into a netted slide / obstacle course for short people! The entrance to get in was a little elastic opening that, to tell the truth, I simply could NOT squeeze into. It wasn't made for people my size, so once she entered, she was on her own, totally. No mommy there to be at the bottom of the slide to help her balance herself on the moving air after an exhilarating ride to the bottom from 20 feet in the air - on air.

She had a blast trying to walk through the air filled obstacles that would pop her in the face as soon as someone else got through them. Once the obstacle course ended, it led to a tall, narrow "ladder" to climb that led to a narrow slide that you had to slide down to exit the course. The only other option of getting out was to go back through the obstacle course against the flow of "traffic", and there was plenty of that. So, she completed the obstacles and started up the little narrow ladder. It was her first time up it, so it was a challenge for her, to say the least. If you've ever climbed on one, you know that the little things you push yourself up on are a sorry excuse for a ladder. You have to know to dig your foot into the air to get some traction.

So, here she started up the ladder, EVER SO SLOWLY. She got about three steps up and an explosion of kids finished the obstacle course and headed up the ladder. They were stepping over her to get to the top and she just rolled back to the bottom. She got up and started again and got about halfway up and the same flock of kids that trampled her the first time had already been through the obstacle course again and were headed back up. This happened about 4 times and one time she was ALMOST at the top and rolled all the way back down. At one point she got a little frustrated and started considering her options on another way out. I, on the other hand, was standing within feet from her the entire time, but was separated by a mesh wall that would not allow me to reach her to help her or to stop the stampede of the other children.

During all this, I was heavily weighing my options. The "mommy" in me wanted to lash out at the other kids who were so inconsiderate of her as they were a little older and bigger than her. I was starting to become a extremely frustrated that no one was willing to help her get to the top. Had I been able to squeeze my "hippocampus" into the net, I'd have just helped her up myself. So, as I stood there quietly, almost tearfully, considering my options, there was a little boy who came up behind her (about her size) who was unwilling to let anyone pass him, therefore allowing her to complete her climb to the top. Once she reached the top, she looked around the net to find me and when she finally spotted me right at the bottom of the slide, she threw her arms up in the air and smiled this huge grin and yelled down to me, "I did it, Mommy." Her feeling of elation at her accomplishment was extremely evident. She really was totally oblivious to the fact that through the whole process it was because of a little boy's insistence on not being passed that she was able to do what she did. Nonetheless, she did it. And she was proud of her hard work.

I've dwelt on this particular scenario in my head for the past few days and I have learned several things from this. I thought about the fact that if I could have reached her to offer my help, her appreciation for the climb would not have meant a thing to her. She wouldn't have really thought to thank me for the help to the top. It wouldn't have mattered to me either way if she would have, anyway. The "mommy" in me wants her to succeed, regardless. At the same time, as frustrating as it was, being able to watch her fail more than one time at her task, then to succeed with such triumph, was a great learning experience for me. I would have much rather had her succeed the first time, but the failure at first made the triumph sweeter for her and for me.

The other thing I knew and had to take another lesson from the great teacher, Experience, on, was that life's not fair. I know life's not fair and that's a fact that, regardless of how we feel about it, we have to accept it. It wasn't fair that she had to be trampled time and time again, only to start climbing and almost get to her destination to be knocked right back down to square one.

Life consists of people wanting to achieve and rank higher that they are willing to climb over whomever they may, to get what they want.....destroying lives, dividing relationships, breaking hearts......all to pursue what makes them "happy"....although, that happiness usually is short-lived. This is present in our personal lives as well as the professional world. The hurts caused by the need to achieve a certain status in life can cause lifelong scars for those who are affected by another's greed, whatever nature that greed may be.

The lessons that I learned on Saturday have been kinda like "cud." I chew on it for a while.....let it go.....then chew on it some more.....let it go......you get the point.

As far as the life's not fair part goes....at least Addison had an air-filled cushion to fall back onto. I wish that life would always be that gentle....