Blessed Are the Cracked, For They Let the Light In!!

These are some quotes from somewhere (who knows) that are quite hilarious. My husband would agree with some of them also. He has made a few of these statements before himself. I'll refrain from putting a star by them so you can figure them out!! LOL! Aunt Linda sent these to me. Thank you for the entertainment! Here we go....


- Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

- I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

- I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

- I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

- Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

- You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

- Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

- God must love stupid people; He made so many.

- The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

- Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

- Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

- Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!

- Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

- I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

- He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

- They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

- A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

- A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

- Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

- A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three
thousand times the memory.

- Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

- The trouble with life is there's no background music.